PUKSC I want someone to spank me. Please spank me and cane me. Make me wear suspenders and stockings. Undress me and remove my knickers. Parade me in scanty underwear, abuse and tease me.

I have female fantasies, Strip me and make me pose and model. Make me take a punishment and humiliate me. Spank me, I want to be spanked until I cry, Put me over your knee.

6. MORE SPANKING ON THE INTERNET 6.1 Other Usenet Groups 6.2 Web Sites 6.3 E-Mail File Servers 6.4 IRC Channels ----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. INTRODUCTION TO A.S.S. 1.1 What is alt.sex.spanking all about? Alt.sex.spanking (a.s.s.) is a splinter group from alt.sex.bondage (a.s.b). While the discussions on a.s.b cover the entire breadth of BDSM interests, a.s.s. topics deal with spanking in an erotic context, whether as fantasy or real experiences. In addition, a.s.s. includes discussions on real life discipline between adults, and sightings of spanking scenes in books, t.v., and movies. 1.2 Why is this newsgroup so friendly? The vast majority of people who post are here to talk about spanking rather than to argue. Many feel that a.s.s. has the highest signal-to-noise ratio of any of the alt.sex newsgroups. People whose only contributions are flames are not well received here. 1.3 Is spanking a form of BDSM? Whether one considers spanking as a sub-set of BDSM (bondage, discipline, sado-masochism) is a matter of personal preference. Some people relate only to spanking, while some relate to the broader spectrum of BDSM. 1.4 What is the difference between spanking and spousal abuse? At a minimum, the difference would be whether there was consent of the person receiving the spanking. If it is an erotic spanking, the receiver has the right to getting some kind of pleasure of it. If it is for real life discipline, there has to be a clear understanding of the conditions of that framework, and the consent of the receiver to those conditions. See Section 5 of this FAQ for more detailed discussions of consensuality. 1.5 What is the difference between spanking and flagellation? Spanking is a subset of flagellation. The spankings of interest to a.s.s. are reminiscent of childhood spankings that were administered at home and school and that were applied primarily to the buttocks. This includes spankings with hands, paddles, belts, straps, hairbrushes, switches, and canes.

5- When she is across your knees, take your time before starting
Play with her bottom, squeezing and "testing" its firmness and fullness -- and you can feel between her legs to see if she is getting wet. Tell her what you are going to do to her bottom, and how it will look in a few minutes. If you feel her trembling with excitement, you know she is really ready!

6- Ease into the heavier spanking
When you actually start the spanking, you may start by spanking her over her clothing, then over her panties (if you have her wearing them). Once you have warmed her bottom, you will always want to spank her on her bare bottom, as that is the sexiest kind of spanking.

Alternate a dozen or so spanks with rubs of her bottom, using firm but very sexual stroking to spread the warmth all over her rump. A finger between her legs can be used to get her breathing faster. You can also alternate spanks with gentle rubbing of her clitoris, tugging of her labia or caressing of her anus. This will make her associate spanking with other pleasurable sensations, thus conditioning her to get aroused to spanking. Take your time, savoring every smack and every feel of that delectable behind.

7. Use the right technique
The slightly cupped palm with fingers together is the best way to spank, as it makes a good smacking sound and reddens the skin without causing excessive pain. If she seems to be unmoved by such spanks, you can give her a few with a flat palm and spread (relaxed) fingers -- those are the stingiest -- until she squirms or responds.

A slow tempo, with an irregular rhythm, is the best technique, as the moments of anticipation between each stroke add to the tension; and if she cannot tell when the next stroke might fall, it is doubly effective in increasing her arousal. Again, take your time. Remember, it is not the number of spanks or how hard they are that brings her to a high state of sexual readiness. It is how long and how deeply she feels her submissive helplessness and the total sexual stimulation of her bottom that is the key.

spank her right

A really good spanker can sometimes bring his partner to climax from such a sexy over-the-knee spanking. But every lover who knows his partner's symptoms of arousal can judge when the time is right to shift her from the spanking position to implement on his erect shaft, which should be hard and ready from having her naked bottom squirming over it.

So, Howard, junk the Robo-spanker! Take Dr. Z's advice, and learn to use your hands!

Dr. Victoria Zdrok earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Drexel University, a J.D. from Villanova Law School and her certificate in sex therapy from New Jersey School of Medicine. She is the author of Anatomy of Pleasure, and is the monthly sex advice columnist for Penthouse Magazine (for whom she was 2004 Pet of the Year). You can ask her questions three times.

Erotic spanking is the practice of another for the sexual gratification of either or both parties. Erotic spanking can be regarded as a form of Bondage is also combined occasionally with erotic spankings, to heighten sexual arousal and feelings of helplessness of the spankee, but is very common in BDSM relationships.

Positions for spanking include:

• over the knees (OTK) or across the lap
• stooped over a chair or couch
• on hands and knees (bed or floor)
• kneeling on a bed or ottoman, stooped over with hands on the floor
• diaper position (genital exposure to enhance humiliation)
• bent under the arm of the spanker
• lying face down on a bed
• birching block
• wooden horse

When men spank women, they may sometimes like them to dress up as a schoolgirl, or to roleplay the part of a "daughter", "secretary", "nurse", "maid" and other roles (and then proceed to lower the panties <if any> before administering the spanking). Men who enjoy being spanked (whether giving or receiving) may like women to wear some combination of a skirt, high heels, garter belt, nylons, and fancy panties; if the women are the spanker, men may enjoy women who dress and act superior, and dress the part of a sexually dominant female domestic discipline, is a form of emotional release and behavioral modification, and/or mental/physical control over the spankee by the spanker.

Spanking

Despite contrary notions, spanking can often be found with people who were never spanked as a child, often coming out later in life as repressed role playing/wish fulfillment.^{[citation needed]}

These paraphilia can take on many varieties. In the erotic fiction of this type, spanking is seen as natural as a reflex as sitting on a chair or making dinner. Other types include "spanking between friends", "parent-child spankings", "sibling spanking" and authoritarian school discipline spankings.

Spanking enthusiasts often keep at hand (privately) a variety of spanking implements such as paddles, whips, belts, etc; infrequently, these implements will also be kept on display (such as hanging together on a wall) as in the unusual, but not completely uncommon practice for a spanking paddle to be hung on display in the parents' bedroom as a continuing reminder to the children of potential punishment, when in fact it is primarily used for erotic paddlings given by one spouse to the other. (Paddles intended for actual punishment of children are not infrequently hung on display in some other area of the house <such as a hall or study>, or occasionally even in the child's own room.)^{[citation needed]}

Playful non-erotic spanking

Sometimes spanking is done in a playful manner that is neither a form of punishment nor is it intended as an erotic act. A tradition that often begins with childhood and can continue to adulthood is a "birthday spanking". This type of spanking is most often associated with a birthday celebration during which sometimes the person celebrating the birthday is spanked playfully, one time for each year of their life - and then some more "to be good on and to grow on," sometimes also "for luck and for love." It is not meant to hurt or overly humiliate the spanked party (although sometimes a paddle is used, and occasionally it is given on the bare bottom). Often the act is also associated with sports participants, who congratulatorily slap one another on the bottom.^{[citation needed]}

It is a common practice in the United States for a bachelor party, while his drunk friends cheer her on. This can be done either on the stage at a strip club or by a stripper or strippers hired for a private bachelor party.^{[citation needed]}

More rarely, at her wedding shower a bride-to-be is given a "gag gift" such as a pair of pink panties that say "Remove before spanking" on the back; and her friends may threaten to have her "try them out" (by having them spank or paddle her) to "see how they work." Similarly, the groom may as a gag be given a paddle with step-by-step "How to spank your wife" instructions painted on it.^{[citation needed]}

. COMMONLY USED TERMS AND ABBREVIATIONS 3.1 Keywords Found in Story Subject Lines Note: The terms listed below are by no means required to post a story. They are simply guidelines to help both those who are looking for a particular type of story and those who are turned off by certain activities. Putting keywords in the subject line will give readers an idea of the story content without having to download the entire post. It is not necessary to choose words from each category below, only the ones you feel are important for the readers to know. Participants ------------ x/y x spanks y, where x and y are: F adult female f young female M adult male m young male e.g. F/m adult female spanks young male M/Ff adult male spanks an adult female and a young female MF/fm A boy and girl are spanked by two adults Note: if two people switch roles, use 'F/M,M/F', not 'FM/MF' which implies there are four people in the scene ------------------------------

 4. SPANKING ORIGINS, FANTASIES, EROTICISM 4.1 I've been fascinated by spanking since I was a child. Am I alone? No. Just the traffic on this newsgroup is indicative of a widespread interest in spanking. Vendors of spanking erotica have customer bases of thousands. Double entendre's about spanking abound on sitcoms. Bondage parlors around the world have always done a brisk business in spankings. You have plenty of company. 4.2 Do my fantasies have to be consistent with my values and ethics? No. Just as it is possible to have a rape fantasy without condoning rape, it is possible to fantasize about spanking without condoning physical abuse. Many of us feel that our actions must be consistent with our values and that by playing spanking games that are safe and consensual, we remain within our ethical bounds. 4.3 Will my interest in spanking escalate into other forms of kinky sex? Maybe, maybe not. If you already relate to other forms of BDSM or kinkiness, then exploring spanking may allow you to feel comfortable with further explorations. However, there are many people who relate to spanking only and play with it their entire lives without a desire to "diversify". ------------------------------

5. SPANKING PLAY 5.1 I'd like to reveal my spanking interests to my partner but am afraid of being rebuffed. What should I do? There are actually multiple answers to this question, depending on the source of your nervousness. First, keep in mind that if spanking is a sexual turn on for you, it should be treated as any other sexual turn on should be treated in your relationship. If it's 'too early' for you to be talking about sex at all, it's probably too early for you to be talking about spanking. However, assuming you're already talking about sex, what special things should you do to talk about spanking as a part of sexplay? First, you should try to be relaxed over your desires. If you seem too nervous, your partner might pick up on your nervousness, and react badly to it. Keep in mind that playful swats are exchanged in many 'normal' relationships; what you're asking about is just more of this 'normal' playfulness that couples engage in. Also keep in mind that every step of your play will be consensual, so no one will be forced into something s/he dislikes. Because of these two items, you have no reason to feel bad about asking for spanking play, in particular. There is some reason to be nervous that your partner will refuse to engage in spanking play at all; that's a danger of asking for any form of sexual expression. While it can be painful to find that you can not engage in your favorite fantasies with someone you love, it is nevertheless one of the risks of any relationship and any fantasy. But what if you've approached everything well, and your partner still reacts badly? Well, try to figure out why you got a bad reaction. Your partner or someone close to your partner may have been spanked or beaten as a child, and talk about spanking might open those bad memories back up. In this case, make sure your partner realizes that you were talking about playful spankings, not real ones, and then try to let the subject drop for the time being unless your partner wants to discuss it further. It's also possible that your partner doesn't have severe emotional problems with spankings, but simply considers spankings as sexplay 'weird' or 'sick'. In this case, you have to decide if the relationship is worth continuing. A warning: while people are often irrational about what is 'proper' sexplay, that irrationality should not splash back onto you! If your partner decides that spanking is not good sexplay, that's one thing; if your partner considers YOU to be 'sick' for wanting to engage in spanking play, there's something seriously wrong with your relationship. Partners should not consider each other's desires to be sick, even if they don't want to engage in them personally. 5.2 I've never been spanked before but would like to be. What should I do? If you're adverse to asking for a spanking, you can try being teasing and 'naughty' and hinting that you deserve one; however, unless your partner is already into spanking, and unless you are looking for fairly mild, playful spankings, you'll probably have to talk to your partner sooner or later about your desires. In some senses, it is easier to be a spankee than a spanker. You don't have to worry about your partner thinking that you want to hurt him or her. However, asking for a spanking comes with it's own set of dangers. The biggest thing you want to be careful about is pressuring your partner. Unless your partner is already into spanking, it's very likely that s/he has no idea what your looking for, and thus, has no idea what you want. This can be very nerve wracking! It is not easy to do something that you know is hurtful to someone you care for. Be patient. Keep in mind that your partner can't read your mind, and thus can't feel the pleasure that comes with the pain of a spanking. Keep in mind also that your partner doesn't know what effect s/he is having on your bottom; try to help teach your partner what you like without being discouraging. Most importantly, give your partner time to get used to each new 'level' of spanking. Do not try to push your partner too fast; that's a sure recipe for making your partner frightened, or making your partner feel inadequate. Try to react to spanking that you enjoy so that it's clear that your partner made you happy; this helps a spanker get over the nervousness of 'hurting' you. Also, try to reward your partner for spanking you; this is not only a good relationship builder, it's also a good way to help your partner get turned on by spanking you. Most importantly, don't be afraid to guide your partner; you may feel silly laying over your partner's lap and saying "okay, try just a bit harder this time", but the long term benefits are worth it. . . both in getting better spankings, and in improving communication. 5.3 I've never given a spanking before but would like to. What should I do? In some ways, this is easier than wanting to be spanked, because you can take a more active role. However, unless your partner is already into receiving spankings, or unless your desires are satisfied by giving fairly mild spankings, you'll probably want to talk to your partner about your desires sooner or later. First, be clear about your desires. If you can't get turned on except by fairly severe spankings, you may well end up having to find someone who is already into being spanked. While most people can end up dealing with mild spankings, severe spanking is definitely not a taste that you can or should expect someone to acquire. If you can be satisfied with playful, relatively mild spankings, however, there are still some issues to keep in mind. First, before even thinking about pain, think about the emotional aspects. Never spank someone for a 'real' fault or mistake unless your relationship already has that aspect to it. Never suggest that your partner is submissive in any way, shape, or form, other than in taking a spanking, unless your relationship already has that aspect to it. Most importantly, learn and respect your partner's preferences in dealing with a spanking; you're already asking to do something 'harmful' to your partner; don't push your partner into bad emotional states at the same time! Next, start slowly. The best 'first swat' is one that is given over full clothing as a teasing or playful gesture. This lets you measure your partner's emotional reaction to spanking, and lets you decide if you want to press the issue. Be careful on those first few swats! A single spank that hits too hard might give your partner the idea that you're into 'pain', not 'spanking'. If your partner reacts well to these initial swats, you might want to see how far you can go. If you do so, however, be extremely careful! Yes, it can be a bit embarrassing to admit that you would like to take your partner over your knee and administer a good spanking; it can be a lot worse to have to apologize for having hurt your partner, either physically or emotionally. In any case, patience is an absolute necessity. If your partner isn't 'naturally' into spanking, you have to make sure that every spanking you administer is a pleasant experience. Since the spanking itself my not be pleasant, make sure that your partner always gets something pleasant out of the experience. This helps link your playful spankings to pleasure for your partner, and will actually help your partner enjoy more and even harder spankings. Work slowly, not just physically, but psychologically. If your partner ends up enjoying light spanks over underpants, do not assume that your partner will like the same 'physical level' of spanks on the bare bottom! There is little physical difference, but the psychological difference is immense. When working on an uncertain person, spank fairly gently, and mix your hard spanks with softer ones, and with lots of rubbing and caresses. Even a person who doesn't specifically like spankings might learn to enjoy a few hard swats to bring about a sting, followed by kisses and caresses for contrast. Finally, and most importantly, let your partner be your guide. Learn to read your partner for signs that say when you're spanking too hard. Also learn to read your partner for when you've actually gotten to the 'right' level of spanking! While your spankings may simply be something your partner 'puts up with' for the pleasure of being your lover, it's even better if you both end up enjoying the spankings. 5.4 I feel silly when I try to play out spankings. How do I make my experiences meet my fantasies? One thing that you have to keep in mind is that your fantasies are 'perfect images' while your experiences are not. In your mind, no one ever spanks too hard, too light, too fast, or too slow. That's one reason for your first experiences not working out. The majority of other issues deal with the imagery and energy of the scene. First, if you don't enjoy role play, and there's role playing involved in your first spankings, you're being distracted from the 'main event'. . . similarly, if you love role play, but aren't getting any, you're not getting any 'foreplay', as it were, before the main event. Negotiation regarding the level and type of role play with your partner will help a lot. However, what if the level and type of role play seems to be working and you still. . . well, feel silly getting into these roles? It does take practice. There's a certain kind of 'magic' woven through roleplaying, and the 'spell' is best served through completely letting yourself go into the role. The "scolding parent" will have a harder time keeping a straight face if the "repentant teen" can't. . . but if the teen looks nervous and embarrassed and guilty, the parent will have a much easier time staying in character, which will make the scene seem more real and more enjoyable for everyone. It might well feel silly at first; it does quickly get easier over time. 5.5 What does consensuality mean? In general, consensuality means that both parties (the spanker and the spankee) wish to engage in spanking play with each other and both are able to stop the play at any time for any reason. Consensuality is more difficult to define for spanking than for other types of erotic play. For some, getting punished against one's will for a misdeed is a powerful fantasy. To play out this fantasy thus requires some degree of nonconsent. However, at some point before the activity there should have been some sort of understanding of what the conditions or boundaries would be. A pleasurable (even if painful) experience for both participants should be the ultimate goal of an erotic spanking session. 5.6 What is a safeword? A safeword is a word that a spankee may use to stop spanking play immediately. A safeword serves two purposes. It functions as a safety valve to prevent the prolonged violation of limits. And, it allows the spankee to engage in mock protests without confusing the spanker. Common safewords are "red", "mercy", "uncle", and believe it or not "aardvark" (it must be a west-coast thing). Some people also use cautionary words such as "yellow" to signal that the play is getting close to the limits and should be softened but not stopped. Safewords seem to be more widely used in the general SM scene than in the spanking scene; however, it is considered wise practice especially when playing with someone for the first time. There are some pitfalls to watch for, however. First of all, the use of a safeword does not relieve the spanker of their responsibility to read and respond to non-verbal cues. Safewords can give a false sense of security to both parties which is dangerous if other forms of communication are ignored. Also, it is considered bad form to intentionally force someone to use their safeword. 5.7 Is there a consensus here regarding consensuality and safewords? Yes and no. It is a commonly held view here that spanking play should be consensual; however, a number of tedious, circular discussions have occurred regarding the right of a submissive to relinquish consensuality (but isn't that still consensual?) or the necessity of an explicit safeword (otherwise you don't have true consensuality). This issue stirs extremely strong emotions for no apparent reason. The consensus here is that it is not always necessary to use a safeword to